Pregnancy dreams are insane.
When I was pregnant with Thad I had very vivid dreams of all kind — usually around having a baby, loosing the baby (as in setting it down and not being able to figure out where I put it) and breastfeeding (because this was a bug mystery to me).
This time around I’ve had some interesting dreams that reflect my thoughts and insecurities about having not one, but two new babies to care for. For instance, I can only see Thad and one baby at a time in my dreams. I’m always having to find the second baby and switch caring for them. These dreams have surfaced my buried thoughts that Thad will no longer get that special time from me for a while; that I have no idea how I’ll manage two babies at once; I can’t expect the three month mark for life to get back to normal…. it will more than likely be the 6-month and then year mark; and when will I grow an extra set of arms?
Yesterday, I had a great conversation with my best friend from childhood who has her own twins and I think she’ll be my savior, because she’s already my hero. She has done it all with her now two-year-old twins, and she did with minimal outside help. While she’s entering the terrible two’s and will have her own set of challenges, she’ll be fine — just as I will be.
Her best piece of advice?
Don’t think about how it will be possible to care for two babies before hand because it you can’t imagine how you’ll get it done and manage two babies at once. When you’re in it, you just do it. You’ll figure it out and you’ll survive.
When I was pregnant with Thad I remember being so excited to have reached the 5-month mark. It meant I was halfway there and soon I was going to meet my little bundle! This time around, the pregnancy hump has turned into a bump. A slight change in mindset that has resulted in questioning my own skills as a mom and wondering how I’m going to do it all without looking like a disheveled crazy woman with two babies latched on her at all times and a forgotten toddler in the background screaming through his terrible two’s.
Now that I’ve reached (and passed) the midway point in this pregnancy (22 weeks today, folks!) I’ve started thinking in both a half full and half empty mindset: for example, I’ve been thinking about how much time I have left to get bigger and I can’t imagine how that’s even possible when I look full term with one (I got the big eyeballs on my belly stare from someone at the office this week). I’ve also started to think how much time I don’t have left and how we still have so much organizing to do before the little ones arrive. I can’t quite figure out how I’m going to get it all done, but I’m sure I will (I think).
Let me tell you more about my dear friend.
She is amazing. She is petite, but strong. She drives an extremely full size SUV and when her twins were about six months old, she came to town to visit and I met her at her parents house. When she pulled her twins out of her “truck” in their carseats, and then proceeded to carry them, one carseat looped through each arm, and her diaper bag, into the house without pausing or bumping into anything, and set them down like it was no big deal — I was amazed. She is one strong mama.
When I think back to this I know that I too can do it.
I just have to make it through the next four months.
Then I’ll have to make it through another four, and another eight. Then a few more years to when the twins are 3 or 4, and then we’ll be golden.
See? There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s called Kauai. Every year. For the rest of my life.